Wait, Where Did My Keys Go? | Reflections on 2011

“Open your mouth and sing out your song. Life is short as the day is long. Can't leave you my body, but I'll leave you a tune. This is my legacy, cheers to you.”
-Brooke Fraser

I have a confession to make – keeping track of my keys is a difficult task. I have a tendency to unlock a door and throw the keys down, not paying any attention to where they land. Often, through the course of my work, the keys get covered up with papers, books, and various items, which leads to a panicked tousle as I attempt to leave the room. And people wonder why my office is messy.

It's been a year of milestones, both personally and professionally. Friendships have been strengthened to points I never knew were possible. Goals have been reached and surpassed. I sit here and remember highlights – watching The Next Big Thing, an event that I poured my entire being into, become a successful reality; winning an ARTIE and having my artwork affirmed by both peers and professionals; bringing Switchfoot and Anberlin, two of Christian music's most influential bands to tiny Siloam Springs, Arkansas – wow. Then there are the other highlights, the ones that are so much more meaningful and important – sitting with a friend at two am on the night of one of the biggest blizzards Arkansas has ever seen and witnessing our surface-level friendship turn into a deep, life-changing relationship; long healing talks over tea with another friend; sharing life with a group of amazing guys who live on a hall named Summit State; late-night gallivanting doing daring deeds; seeing my family for the holidays after almost a year of separation. This year has been incredible.

The high points are paired with the low points. Paralyzing insecurities that left me helpless and searching. Watching as a dear friend was put in the hospital and dealing with the heart-wrenching pain of saying goodbye. Breaking down as the reality of a broken world sunk in, showing me that some of my deepest hopes and dreams must be surrendered. Working through anger and mild depression after harsh words were said by a person I trusted.

I am so blessed.

I see the thread that He has woven throughout the memories. The places where the needle penetrated, the places where souls were stitched together, and the places where the beauty of the tapestry brilliantly burst forth. Here I am, still in process. The needle will penetrate again. Yet, if 2011 is any indication of what is to be, let the stitches come. I am ready and willing, a smile on my face, with laughter not too far behind.

The Triune Being doesn't leave me like I leave my keys. He doesn't toss me off to the side, throw junk onto me, and then remember me later forgetting where I am.

He holds onto me, closely.