The Incredible Shrinking Pants

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
-Anais Nin

In honor of the fact that my family will return from Romania in exactly two weeks, I have decided to uncover a peculiar phenomenon that, as far as I know, has never been brought into light. It's called The Incredible Shrinking Pants.

Throughout my travels in Europe, I have bought clothes. Of course, the clothes that I bought fit wonderfully on my body in the European dressing rooms. As would be expected, I brought the clothes back to the United States with me in my suitcase. This is when the phenomenon occurs. You see, instead of  the clothes getting bigger (as one would expect, everything is bigger in the US) the clothes actually get smaller. It's not an immediate thing, it sort of happens over a period of time. One doesn't notice it happening, until one day, that fateful day, it all becomes clear: clothes from Europe are designed to shrink when taken outside of European borders.

Today was that day for me.

I must say, I'm rather perplexed as to how it happens. I'm thinking about it quite hard as I sit here and eat my nightly snack of Oreos and ice cream. How does one design clothes to shrink?! I mean, if that method could be successfully figured out by American designers, it would cause a revolution in the fashion industry! It'd be motivation for people to lose weight! 'Buy this shirt and lose 10 pounds in 5 weeks! If you don't, the shirt simply won't fit leaving you without anything to wear!'

Hmmm.
-Matthias

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