Let's go on a Walk!

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”
-Ellen DeGeneres

This is Kasey. She is one of the two incredibly cute beagles that own my Aunt's house - where I am residing for the summer. Kasey loves to go on walks, which is fortunate because I also love to go on walks, and having company is quite nice. The walks that we take typically occur in the evening once the sun has lost the majority of its fury. Today was different though, today we went on a walk right after lunch. This is the story of that walk:

I enter the scene after eating lunch, agitated. "Nothing is working right with this website that I'm trying to fix! I need to go on a wal..."  I catch myself before the whole word comes out, but unfortunately the damage has already been done. Out of nowhere bounds an excited miniature beagle wagging her tail. Snap.

Queen Kasey sits down and stares at me with her head cocked to one side knowing that no matter how hard I try, I cannot deny her anything. I'm pretty sure she fully realizes that this look will take her all the way to being voted President of the United States if she wants. I head towards the door and put on the red collar thingy that isn't a collar when I notice that I don't have my sunglasses and that I need to pee. "Just a second Kasey, I'll be back! I will! No, don't look at me like that! I'M SORRY, OKAY!?"

Halfway into the walk, Kasey stops being content with sniffing the sidewalk and decides that she's ready to follow an imaginary trail deep into the underbrush alongside the trail on which we're walking. That's when the battle starts. "Kasey, who is walking who here? Stop pulling on the flipping leash and being so stubborn!" She just stares back at me. "Kasey, I am going to pick you up and carry you back to the house if you don't cooperate!" The stare turns into a look of utter shock mixed with an air of 'you wouldn't dare'. But, the threat works and we continue with the walk.

A beaver has built a home by the trail system, turning a lot of the trail into a marshy swamp. Kasey is quite excited about the water and wants to go wading. At first glance, this seems like a fun idea. Then I notice the swarm. Billions of bugs notice me all at the same time and within seconds I am surrounded. "*cough* Kasey! Kasey, get over here! We need to go...*cough cough choke*" Through the bugs I can barely make out the shape of a little dog staring at me with an 'I win' look.

As the walk continues, Princess Kasey gets tired. From previous walks with her highness, I've learned to dread this part most of all. You see, when Princess Kasey is tired, she just walks over to the grass and flops on her side, limp. It is impossible to get her back on her feet, no amount of pulling on the leash, picking her up and trying to set her on her feet, or any other method will convince her that we need to get home. In desperation, I decide to experiment. I brave the swarm one more time to collect a small amount of water in my hands. Then, I sneak up behind the little doggie and *spash!*

I win.

We get back home, Matthias feeling triumphant, Kasey with hurt pride. She walks up to my aunt, looks at her accusingly ('why didn't you save me!?') and plops on her favorite blanket, eyes watching me the rest of the afternoon.

YOU were the one who wanted to go on a walk.
-Matthias