Redemption & Grace

My friend Jessica posted these thoughts on her blog yesterday. I asked her permission to reblog it on here as this speaks the exact same thing I've been pondering writing about for several weeks. Read, be encouraged, and check out Jessica's writings at http://kimiposts.blogspot.com
-Matthias

Dear Reflection,

You’re looking kinda red again. Running two miles at an overly zealous pace to get rid of excess emotion isn’t always the best plan. Well, maybe it was. You’re making me laugh right now at least. =)

But Jess, just so you know, it’s okay to stop sometimes. You don’t have to save the world. You don't have to fight the labels given to you—just be His. He is Savior & King. People can put any title they want on you (good and bad), but it does not change that your real identity is just Jesus.

Forget selfish pride. Look at you, reflection—I’m laughing again. You are pretty unlovely in any sense, and it is pretty easy for people to label the things they don’t understand. That’s okay!!! They are right—you ARE a sinner.

Just remember this—“and while you were yet dead in your sins, Christ died for your sins to demonstrate His love towards you.” (Romans 5:8)

Grace. It does not depend on what you can offer; it just stands. God’s grace says, “welcome home.” Enjoy His embrace.

So wrapped in an embrace like that, how can you do anything BUT choose to live fully? Oh.... I wish I could make you see HOW overwhelming the JOY and LOVE are. Where did we lose the ability to delight? (maybe that's why I like my roadtrip adventures =)

Therefore, I’m turning away from the mirror right now, and instead I’m writing to you readers for the rest of this post.

While I was out running, I started praying for each person reading this blog. Even though I’m kinda writing these posts to my reflection, I am hoping that people will see the truth of a beautiful Jesus reflecting through a broken Jessica.

I’ve written a lot about my struggle with feeling judged, but I know we all struggle with the fear of rejection, so here are some of the truths I was praying through for you, because they are things that have changed my life. ….and yes, I mean every word of this for every one of you who reads this.

You are accepted because you are loved unconditionally by Him.
You are accepted because He desires your heart.
You are accepted because He wants you to live the BEST of His plan (not good or better, but best)
You are accepted because life would not be as sweet without you.
You are accepted because grace covers ALL of your life and makes you whole.
You are accepted because you have an important story.
You are accepted because in His eyes you are of the highest worth.

Because you are accepted, you can still hold to Him even when others have walked away and the hurt doesn't make any sense.
Because you are accepted, you can live with great joy.
Because you are accepted, you can forgive and then continue to live as He intended.
Because you are accepted, you can walk without shame.
Because you are accepted, you can remain secure in your identity.
Because you are accepted, you can always know you have a safe refuge..
Because you are accepted, you can lose everything to find how sweet He is.

The truths of why you are accepted do not change. However, the second set of statements all have that conditional word in there: you “can”. It is a choice. Do you believe truth? If so, live.

You will find you have to come closer to the heart of God in order to experience the full power of these statements. Do you love Him in return? How much? What does it look like? even if it is little changes and little moments of delight...

For once… just live as His. Lay aside theology, tradition, and time-consuming debates for a moment. You were intended to know the fullness of the joy of His salvation. Live.

Grace to each of you. With sincere love, ~Jessica Kimi

Rule #6: As a sinner redeemed, lavishly extend the same grace & love you received without condition.

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Flashlights and Other Potentially Useful Items

It was never shameful to learn from any teacher things that are useful to know.
-Leon Battista Alberti 

As many of you know, I made a last minute trip to Romania for the holidays. Of course, with any visit to Romania comes attending church - like everywhere else in the world - but interesting things seem to happen in foreign churches that an American wouldn't typically expect (see the post 'Lovebirds' for a good example). This trip was no exception.

Since it was the Holidays, church happened many more times than normal. On New Year's Eve my family and I bundled up, tromped through the snow to church, sat in the barely heated building, and watched our breath emerge from our mouths as we tried to decipher the Romanian words flowing from the Pastors mouth. Slowly the light outside the windows faded and I found myself drifting off into thoughts of warm sunny beaches only vaguely aware that the youth group was getting up to sing. Then, all of a sudden, in the middle of a song the entire church went pitch black.

I have to admit that my first thought was not anything like it should have been. Instead of solemnly thinking "Snap. However shall church continue? The power went out! This is a horribly awful development and will most surely ruin my New  Years Eve," I found myself feeling quite happy and thinking "Yessssssss! Yes! Yes! Yes! However shall church continue? No one can see! Pastor can't read his notes! We get to leave early!!!" (I know, I'm not a very good candidate for Missionary Kid of the Year). The youth group's songs instantly sounded more cheerful, and for a few seconds I found myself full of an uncontrollable hope, pleading with the lights to stay off so that we could move on to our New Years celebrations.

That's when I heard the rustling. The youth group had stopped singing and in the silence I heard a sound that was somewhat familiar, although I couldn't quite place it. It sounded almost like my sister trying to find a tissue in the swimming pool sized bag that she calls a purse. I futilely looked around and right as I glanced towards the side of the church where the females were sitting, I saw it. A soft glow penetrating the darkness.

Someone had pulled a flashlight out of their purse.

Then I saw another light, and another. It seemed like everyone had a flashlight stored away conveniently in a purse or a coat pocket. The worst thing was, no one was acting as if this were abnormal! Needless to say, the hope that I was feeling only moments earlier ebbed away with the darkness. Of course everyone would have flashlights. Of course.

Then, the power came back on.

I couldn't really expect anything else, and really part of me was glad that church could continue (I'm not that horrible of a MK). It just made me wonder, what other potentially useful items are hidden away in the pockets and purses of Romania?

I'll probably find out next time I go to church with my family.
-Matthias

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The Hike

"Many climbers become writers because of the misconceptions about climbing."
-Jonathan Waterman

One of the views from our hike

This weekend several of my friends and I celebrated fall break by driving a total of 36 hours in order to spend 36 hours in the mountains. You see, my uncle Steve owns a lovely piece of property up the road from White Pine, Colorado (don't bother looking it up...even Google can't find White Pine). To us college students, so ready for a break, the mountains sounded like a grand idea, and hey, what's 36 hours of driving? So, we all piled into a car (or an airplane...several lucky people flew, I was not one of them), trekked across the Oklahoma Panhandle, and arrived at White Pine without too much hassle. After a night's sleep, a delicious breakfast (that took way too long to prepare), plus a 'everyone gather around the fire and share your deepest secrets and cry about it' session, we decided to go on a hike up the mountain.

It wasn't my idea.

From my experiences of spending a summer at White Pine several years ago, I suggested (with much digress) that we hike up Tomichi Pass. "It's not long," I guaranteed them, "I know it's been two years since I've been up there, and never mind the fact that I drove it last time, but I'm positive that we'll be able to do it in an afternoon!" I honestly think the apple cider from that morning's meal may have sat in the car just a bit too long...

After grabbing multiple bottles of water, making peanut butter and honey sandwiches, and peeing several times each (we were drinking lots of water...the altitude you know, it shrinks one's bladder), we were off up the pass. After about three steps, I was out of breath. After about six steps, I could feel the fat on my body start to melt away. This was going to be good! Then I looked down.

I was wearing Converse.

Have you ever tried to climb a mountain in Converse shoes? Don't. It does funny things to your legs. Besides the fact that they have no support, so even if you are a tiny bit fat you'll be dying from lack of air in several seconds. (It's easy to blame one's lack of physical ability on the shoes. Try it. That's why I still haven't bought a good pair of running shoes.) Anyway, we hiked for several hours, and try as I might, I still couldn't find the peak we were aiming towards. I kept reassuring everyone that it was just beyond that next mountain, but soon we were looking back at the snow covered peaks we had just passed, wondering how in the world we were surviving in the frozen tundra above the tree line of the Rocky Mountains.

I tried to keep up the motivation. "Hey guys! At least we still have peanut butter and honey sandwiches!" I gasped between half hour breathing breaks. "Oh! And we also packed clementines!" So, we sat down to eat. Then we decorated a Christmas tree with the clementine peels (that's our version of 'leave no trace' - 'make it look better than it did before with tropical fruit peels that would never be found on the top of a mountain'). After the lunch break, everyone decided to give up finding the original peak, and just run up to the top of one of the nearby mountains. I sat on a rock and watched.

Two hours later, I was interrupted from catching snowflakes on my tongue by the exhausted mountain climbers returning from their jaunt to the summit. I waved goodbye to my new baby bear friends and trekked back down the mountain, only to realize that Kristiana wanted to go swimming in the alpine lake up the road...

Maybe Colorado wasn't such a good idea.
-Matthias

P.S. If you ever happen to find yourself not able to fall asleep because you are more sore than you have ever been in your whole entire life, take Ibuprofen before you toss around for hours. You will thank yourself in the morning.

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